| I want a Cookie. :-( |
[May. 26th, 2009|05:31 pm] |
My weight was 164 on Sunday, 5 weeks post-partum, so I've got 14 pounds to pre-preg weight and 20 pounds to goal weight.
I've been working-out pretty decently and I finally got the treadmill back in the house and i've "jogged" twice.
I was able to go one mile without stopping the first time, which I am honestly proud of, as lame as that may seem. Considering that I didn't run for the last nine months, one mile for now is acceptable. The second time I did intervals of (or my version of) sprinting and power-walking for two miles.
Today, I started my strength work-out right after I got Aria to sleep in her bouncy chair but then she just wouldn't stay asleep. So I got 2 sets done and then called it quits and I have absolutely no motivation to get on the treadmill today.
I might later on, I might not.
Aria cries a lot and spits-up a lot. She's gaining weight, though, so I guess I shouldn't be too concerned, she was 9lbs 6 ozs today and 21.5 inches, up from 7lbs and 20 inches at birth.
She's also started smiling socially and it rocks! I love to look at her and her HUGE bald head. She was born with hair but it has fallen out except on the back of her head; it's like the baby version of a mullet and it's adorable.
At night she consistently wakes up every three hours, so that is pretty nice. She does sleep in bed with me, though, not her crib. I've tried to sleep her in the bassinet but it's only worked twice... I don't know what I'm going to do about that.
Losing weight sucks.
And for your viewing pleasure
Chubby bath time baby
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| Soooo |
[Dec. 10th, 2008|08:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
I'm with child! 22 weeks. Due April 17th, 2009.
I'm going to have a girl. SO and I have decided on Aria for her name. No middle name yet. So Aria ______ Harper for now.
I'm feeling pretty good. I didn't really have any morning sickness just nausea for the first three months.
Other than that I'm going to Pima right now to become an R.N.
Brian (the daddy) supports my prego ass so I can just focus on school and being healthy for the babe. Isn't that sweet? :-)
Ideally I'd like to give birth unmedicated so I've been practicing a lot of mediation and relaxation techniques. They are really neat and hopefully will be good enough on the big day!
Also, I'm giving birth at the Northwest Birth Center and they have 2 birth tubs there that are available for any women wishing to labor in them. My doctor doesn't want me to deliver in water, I think the idea makes her uncomfortable, but she said I am free to labor in it until I need to deliver.
Anyway. Screw Xmas. I'm happy Brian is Jewish and Aria won't be believing in santa. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2007|01:00 pm] |
My life is so different now than it was the last time I wrote. I want to write, write, write. I have no time!
I want to write! |
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| War is Kind by Stephen Crane |
[Sep. 13th, 2007|04:30 pm] |
Do not weep, maiden, for war is kind.
Because your lover threw wild hands toward the sky
And the affrighted steed ran on alone,
Do not weep.
War is kind.
Hoarse, booming drums of the regiment,
Little souls who thirst for fight,
These men were born to drill and die.
The unexplained glory flies above them,
Great is the battle-god, great, and his kingdom --
A field where a thousand corpses lie.
Do not weep, babe, for war is kind.
Because your father tumbled in the yellow trenches,
Raged at his breast, gulped and died,
Do not weep.
War is kind.
Swift blazing flag of the regiment,
Eagle with crest of red and gold,
These men were born to drill and die.
Point for them the virtue of slaughter,
Make plain to them the excellence of killing
And a field where a thousand corpses lie.
Mother whose heart hung humble as a button
On the bright splendid shroud of your son,
Do not weep.
War is kind. |
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| I ache inside but my lips can't let you know |
[Sep. 5th, 2007|11:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Holly Golightly - Tell Me Now So I Know | ] |
Kyle is taking me to see Rodrigo Y Gabriela on Friday at the Marquee Theater!
I am so excited! Weee.
I say Kyle is taking me but that really means I am dragging him to see them with me... Oh well.
Saturday is Randi's Bridal shower and that should be lots of fun but I don't know what kind of present I'm supposed to get her? Anyone have any clues?
I was seriously the drunkest I've ever been in my life this weekend, alllllll weekend, and it was amazing.
I'm going to Chicago for New Years and I'm going to be very drunk there as well!!
Woohoo Rodrigo Y Gabriela!! |
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| If I don't die or worse I'm gonna need a nap |
[Aug. 23rd, 2007|05:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  embarrassed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fiona Apple | ] |
ESPN plays on the t.v.s at my gym without sound.
Well, today there was a Baseball game on and the camera was on the pitcher and I thought to myself, "Dang, he's pretty hot. I should watch baseball more often."
And then the camera went to the batter and he was definitely 12 years old because it was the Little League World Series.
<.<
>.> |
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| Oh man |
[Apr. 24th, 2007|07:59 pm] |
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I love the NBA. |
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| They take to the sky, Southbound Pachyderm |
[Mar. 22nd, 2007|07:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Primus - Southbound Pachyderm | ] |
I'm stranded at the library. :-(
I've been here for a couple hours already but now it's pouring rain and I have to ride my bike home.
It was really nice to be here in the afternoon, though, when it was cloudy and quiet.
I love campus in the spring. I want to spend my life here when it's like this.
Kyle, my boyfriend, turns 21 on April 3rd, and I wanted to buy him a rock climbing harness and shoes but I spent all of that money on a trip to disneyland. :-[
I am so bad. I bought him a really cute shot glass in Disneyland but I've already lost it! I feel so terrible.
We got engaged to be married on our two year anniversary, Jan. 22nd. So... there's that.
I know Austin doesn't like boyfriend/girlfriend posts so I'll just leave it at: I love him very much and look forward to being silly with him for a long time.
P.S. I'm beginning training for a half marathon over the summer and I'll probably be in Tucson for a lot of the summer so if anyone that is reading this lives in Tucson and is interested, let's train together! |
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| When you said you needed me, did you really need me? |
[Mar. 9th, 2007|06:26 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Mia Doi Todd - The Way | ] |
I just had a terrifying dream and I'm home all alone until at least 1 am tonight and I feel afraid. :-(
And Kyle and I are sort of having a row. and my boobs hurt to the point of making me want to cry. And I don't know why. :-(
And it's Spring break today but I have to write 4 papers over the break, read Othello, and complete two-take home mid-terms? That's not a break.
Sorry to just complain. I'm sad and scared and this feels like talking to someone. |
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| I've got my feet on the ground and I don't go to sleep to dream... |
[Feb. 17th, 2007|06:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
Lately
My optimism and realism constantly fight with each other to have control of my decisions. to an almost bipolar degree.
Half the time I feel like school is important and that I love to gain knowledge by reading and living and I love the world and being alive and the other half of the time I feel like all the people around me are completely hostile animals, self centered and volatile.
That being said, I’m having an incredibly tough time beginning my papers that are due next week. ;-) Right as I get into the first mindset and start the paper, the second one creeps in and I feel like disappearing, which seems silly I guess, knowing that I feel 99 percent invisible.
Except in class. But even in class this duality exists. I love to have discussions with my classmates but at the same time some of their opinions seriously scare me. I just don’t believe that someone who is 99.999% exactly the same as me can be I… I don’t know… so foreign.
I feel completely that it’s okay for people to try to be different even though actually being different is a difficult thing to accomplish, if not impossible. But anyway… I don’t know how people express their opinions constantly in an intellectual forum with so little thought.
They say things that I don’t think they can possibly really mean. This probably makes little to no sense with no examples so here we go.
Today someone said that, “I was a vegetarian for three months but then I got hungry.”
I don't know.
Talk amongst yourselves. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2007|05:06 am] |
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Most days I feel unbelievably happy and then I see this, "R.I.P SPC Alan McPeek KIA 02FEB07 Ramadi, Iraq" and my heart breaks and I feel like my body is collapsing in on itself. |
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| All the Flowers would have very extra special powers, they would sit and talk to me for hours |
[Jan. 18th, 2007|04:04 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Pay Attention/In a World of my Own from Alice and Wonderland | ] |
I can't fall asleeeeeeeep.
I've been listening to music and doing homework and it feels too great to fall asleep.
Kyle was telling me about a man who thought that it was really important to be alone often to develop a true sense of self but paradoxically thought that being around people can and should add to that development and so he would
stay in an apartment for like six months straight with no other human contact and then party for a month straight with anyone who was down and then repeat.
and I just feel that that is so strange and awesome and wish that life was more than long enough to conduct many social experiments on myself to see which way of living I like best. |
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| Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all |
[Jan. 15th, 2007|05:07 pm] |
School starts tomorrow. I can't decide if the feeling in my stomach is nervousness or excitement.
I took mushrooms twice over break. It's a weird thing. Both trips were really good but on the second one I tried to go online and I read a journal entry of Joel's and started crying uncontrollably for the following four hours.
I eventually started crying about different things but I couldn't stop.
I got the movie the nutcracker prince for xmas and I haven't seen it since I was in elementary school and I started crying when I saw it on mushrooms because it made me remember that I'm not a little girl anymore and I hardly even remember being a little girl.
And I might not remember being twenty when I'm thirty-five.
Oh well.
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see
Love to be
In the arms of all I'm keeping here with me
Kyle decided to run the PF chang's half marathon that was on sunday. He decided to run the night before. He hasn't run more than 3 miles in over a year but he did it anyway and he didn't sleep the night before and now he is in so much pain and it is sad but mostly funny. |
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| I'm in love with Steve Nash. |
[Dec. 18th, 2006|09:33 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Jack's computer | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy though hungover | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Everyone is still asleep. | ] |
I got a little bit too drunk on wine at Kyle's dad's house last night.
I sincerely love him as a father and way more than my own. I'm so happy to be here. and I love red wine.
I made an 'A' in my "The Bible as Literature" class which makes me so very happy!
I don't think I'm going to Tucson for xmas. I'm not going to talk about it anymore or feel sad about it because I'd rather be up here except I wish Kelly and Kenny would come up here too. But I can't be happy all the time.
And I will miss my grandma's lasagna but I'll survive somehow.
kelly came up two nights ago and she met Jack last night and now I think I have cemented my position in jack's heart as a daughter. He loves me so much and it feels so good to know that basically no matter what I do or how drunk I get he'll love me. And the same goes for Kyle.
P.S. I just started playing FF12 and I really like it. And I want to play now but unfortunately cannot.
Also I'm obsessed with playing baseketball lately so if anyone wants to play sometime we should. :-) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 13th, 2006|05:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Chopin - Nocturne in F minor (not really cheerful I know) | ] |
I know it's not that important but...
So I had a 10 page paper due last monday and I turned it in and I honestly thought it was the best paper I have written since being here. I got the grade for it today and I got a B-.
When I saw it I felt like crying. I still feel like crying. I've never gotten anything lower than a 'B' on a paper and for that one time to be on the paper I felt the most proud of fills me with negative feelings and forces me to seriously question my judgement.
It also didn't help that I've been awake for the last 30 hours and was ridiculously sleep deprived when I saw my grade.
And Kyle has work until 6 am so I have no one to comfort me right now and I just want to cry.
Also, Brian and Susan got in today and we had dinner and we are going to be staying with them after tomorrow but ...
When I saw Susan I didn't know how to react. At that point I had been awake for like 20 hours and I felt myself having a hard time controlling my emotions.
I just smiled and hugged her huge and tried to act like nothing has changed in the 8 months since we lived in this apartment together.
She had a hat but that almost made her look worse. The only place she has hair left is where her eyebrows are supposed to be. She just looked so sick and I wanted to cry when I saw her but I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. I'm crying right now.
When we were at dinner I was rubbing her bare shoulders and neck with my fingertips and I told her how soft and beautiful her skin is and she replied, "the chemo makes my skin thin and so it feels softer than normal skin."
I felt so bad and strange. She's too young. I love her so much. We kept cuddling at dinner.
She still looks very beautiful without her hair. and I know it's no big deal for me to get a b- on one paper. I love Kyle and I wish he was home. |
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| I think Bowie's cool |
[Dec. 6th, 2006|08:07 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  dorky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nobukazu Takemura - Travels of Italy | ] |
I finished my 10 page paper and I quite liked it. One of the best papers I've written since being at the university.
I have no sense of time lately. As the time stamp says, it's 8:07 a.m. but I'll probably be going to bed in two or three hours. I've been doing this for about a week. It's really strange. I'm never certain what day it is.
My semester is over on Monday. While I don't feel like I can be finished quickly enough, I'm very scared for my bible final to come and I'm completly exhausted from writing essays and I have four more to write before I'm done.
I'll keep breathing if I must and running and loving and looking forward to xmas and family and hopefully lots of friends and reading and mushrooms if Kyle will let me and Brian and Susan!
They are our roommates from last year; Brian is Kyle's older brother. And they moved to texas when susan was diagnosed with cancer. :-( and we haven't seen them in about nine months. and I love them and have suggested having a foursome with them but I get shot down every time.
:-)
Incest, Schmincest, I always say. |
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| I desire to speak somewhere without bounds |
[Dec. 3rd, 2006|02:20 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bedroom | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Holly Golightly - Run Cold | ] |
In regards to Northanger Abbey, argue that the heroine is threatned by her virginity and by marriage.
I chose that topic to write 10 pages about but now I can't imagine why I would do that to myself. It's not due until monday but I have so much research to do if I want the paper to have any substance.
School is almost over.
This has been the worst semester that I've had in college. Not gradewise just wanting to be in school wise. I'm burned out. I was burned out my junior year of high school, too.
I am taking a class called the Bible as literature and so I have (in like 3 pages) read the entire bible! I'm scared for that final.
I can run for 3 miles without stopping. I know that's not AMAZING but for me it kind of is. In high school I couldn't even run a mile without stopping and I had to do it then and now I'm just doing it for myself.
I've had a lot of coffee and I never have coffee. I'm wide awake and Kyle is fast asleep. |
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